i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Can you bring me the toilet please
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
