If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
