I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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