Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Let's get the cat blown out
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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