Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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