I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
