So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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