You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
