I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
