omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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