p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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