is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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