My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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