I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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