this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
