Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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