i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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