I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
