we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
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