I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
