It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
