Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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