According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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