Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
