we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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