Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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