i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
