I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I had to cum in my sink.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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