she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Randomize
