they need to just BURY HIM!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
