is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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