Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
