turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I checked into jail on foursquare
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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