She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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