SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
