How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
