god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm having to shit out rocks
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
