office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
