you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
