We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
