I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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