My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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