i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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