guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
