you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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