I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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