Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
