He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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