the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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