I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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