We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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