butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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