I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
All I want is dick and wine.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
